If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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