the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
