i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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