Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
