worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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