My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
