I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
