You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
