OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize