Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Vodka?
Forever.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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