Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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