would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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