I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
