I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
