her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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