I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
i need some magic done to my vagina
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
