I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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