two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
