i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
well I can't set my house on fire every night
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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