fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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