Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
