Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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