Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
