thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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