I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
