i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
