Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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