Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
