ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
