I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
