Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
