Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
