you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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