batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
