Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
