If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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