I hate your face
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
