turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
50% drunk capacity currently
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
