To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
