Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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