They should really pass out barf bags in church
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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