Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
