Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
