Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
