i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
