No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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