Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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