i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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