You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
