the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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