Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
