dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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