Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
that's an acceptable place to lick
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
