I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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