Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
