k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
They took my balls.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
