apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The ass gains better be worth it
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