3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
