I got chris browned last night
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize