Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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