we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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