But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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