So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
