Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
