Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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