i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
