I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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