So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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