I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
