We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
