craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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