We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
