these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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