just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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