Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
