3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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