Fine. I'll sleep in my office
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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